“No, you’re not.”
“How can you say that?”
“Because I don’t know where I am.”
“But where’s here?”
“Why does it matter? Where do you want to be?”
“That’s the point. I don’t know where here is; and I don’t know where I . . . Well, actually, I do know where I want to be, and I’m not there.”
“How do you know?”
“I don’t. That’s what’s so confusing. I’m not sure I can really explain it.
“You see, I look around and I’m in a jungle between lots of trees with a dense fog, all around. There’s no clear path out. I can’t even work out how I got here. Yet I’m also not sure that I don’t want to be here. I mean, it could be said that I’m here by choice, couldn’t it. So, if I’m here by choice, I probably want to be here. But why would I want to be here?”
“Why do you think you want to be here?”
“I don’t know. Am I hiding from something? Or someone? Who? I feel like I’m hiding from . . . myself! Why would I do that? Am I trying to deceive myself? Why? There’s something I need to do and . . . and I’m afraid to do it; somewhere I have to go, but I’m afraid to go there.”
“”Where do you have to go? And what do you have to do?”
“I have no idea.
“Well, actually, that’s not quite true. I have to go inside and search.”
“Inside? Inside what?”
“Not what? Who? I have to go inside myself. And that’s scary.”
“Not many people can do that.”
“Tell me something I don’t know. Too many people go off to ‘find themselves’ and never come back. No wonder it’s scary.
“Yet, really, I know where I am. I’m here; wherever here is. I’m not really lost. I know where I am; I’m here. I just don’t know where here is.”
“If you did know where ‘here’ is, what would you do with that information? After all, you said there are no visible paths. So it would not matter which direction you go in.”
“True. But at least . . . at least if I’m moving, it would be easier to turn.”
“And I’ll never find my way unless I can see where I’m headed for.
“I suppose the real question is where I want to be headed for. If I’m searching for myself, and I know I’m here, then haven’t I already found myself? Haven’t I already reached my destination?
“No. That’s not quite true. The idea of a destination suggests that the journey will end. Yet the journey never ends, does it. Life goes on and the journey doesn’t end. After all, once we reach our destination we look around for somewhere else to go. The journey never ends. And, since I know that I’m here, this is just a stopping off point on my journey.
“So why can I not see which way to go? Because I have no clear direction? Where do I want to be? No. Why do I want to be here?”
“Good question. Why do you want to be here?”
“Because I need a rest. I need some time without the demands of other people tugging at my resources. Yet I also don’t want to ignore the needs of those who matter to me. That’s why I’m afraid to search for myself – I don’t want to lose those I care about.”
“And yet you know where you are.”
“So I don’t need to search! I’m here.
“And the mist is clearing. Mist? Fog? What’s the difference? It’s clearing. There is always a path between the trees. It may not be a well-worn path, but it’s still a path. It’s a path I have to make for myself. It’s my life; my journey; my path.”
“So what does that mean?”
“It means I know where I am. And I know where I’m going.
“I’m here, and I’m going to keep going. I’m simply going to walk between two trees and keep going.
“Where did that path come from? Did I just make that path? Yes. It’s my path.”
“Where does it lead?”
“Wherever I want it to lead. I am in control of my life. I can choose to stay here or I can choose to move on. It’s my choice.”
“And what have you chosen?”
“To move on.”
“Wherever my journey takes me . . . No . . . Wherever I want to go. And I want to go and look after those I care about; which includes myself. After all, I’m actually in a clearing between trees.
Now, look between those two trees. What do you see?”
“It’s not about what I see. It’s about what you see. But I see a path.”
“ Of course you do. It may not be much of a path, but it’s my path. It’s my way forward. Thanks for listening.
“So. Are you coming?”
“Do I have a choice?”
If you have seen this, previously, on my other blog, I apologise. I am moving everything to this blog in order to simplify my life in harmony with minimalist principles!