Month: July 2015

Trust

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WARNING: Contains material that may cause distress

It’s not the things you said to me,
It’s not the things you did,
It’s not the things you asked of me,
Or things you did and hid

It’s not the way you treated me
Nor things you made me do
It’s not the things you showed to me
Or made me show to you

It’s not the way you came to me
The middle of the night
Pretending you were comforting
You never saw my fright

It’s not the hurtful memories
That make me feel so sad
It’s that I used to trust you
It’s that you were my dad

But now that life is over
And I can start to heal
And put away those memories
And get a chance to feel

Saved from your evil clutches
I’m starting life again
And maybe I’ll be normal
Before I get to ten

No, dad, I won’t forget you
Or things that you once did
But all those crazy memories
I’ve put away and hid

It isn’t easy for a child
For one as young as me
To leave behind those hurtful thoughts
And hurtful memories

But now I live with Grandma
And she knows what to do
And Grandpa’s gentle, loving voice
Will help me to get through

They have such kind expressions
With loving, gentle care
They give me lots of cuddles
When hurtful thoughts are there

They put up with my whining
And crying in the night
They take away the nasty thoughts
That often cause me fright

They’re such a calming presence
At times when I think back
They fill my days with wonder
E’en when my mood is black

And someday I’ll repay them
For all the love they’ve shown
For giving me the kind of life
I’ll treasure as my own

And now those distant mem’ries
Are fading out of sight
Despite the fact they sometimes come
The middle of the night

No longer am I worried
That you will come to me
Like when you were my daddy
And I was only three

For now that life is over
A new life has begun
A life that’s new each morning
A bright new, shining sun

And I can now move forward
Forgetting all your lust
Because I have new parents
And these I know I trust

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Someone asked me, recently, why I’ve been so quiet lately. This poem has been bubbling around for months. It’s a tribute to all the survivors, and to all who help them survive.